


Every Other Weekend

by SamanthaNovak



Series: Every Other Weekend [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Divorce, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Separations, implied past mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 05:50:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11822535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamanthaNovak/pseuds/SamanthaNovak
Summary: A short piece in which we see a weekend with a separated Sam and Castiel and their seven-year old daughter Grace.





	Every Other Weekend

**Author's Note:**

> On my way home from work last night, I heard a song I hadn't heard in forever. "Every Other Weekend" by Reba McEntire and Kenny Chesney. I was already almost home so I only heard up to the first chorus but it was too late; this Sastiel one-shot had been planted.
> 
> I'm still working on several WIPs even if nothing has been posted recently. Still alive over here, promise! As always, I blame my work schedule. But "Morning Gift" WILL be updated. Eventually. And I'll have a few new things to put up. I'm trying to get things written a bit ahead so I can update more frequently when they're posted. Unfortunately, that means virtual silence from me for a little while. Sorry.

* * *

 “Papa, look!”

Castiel craned his neck around to see his daughter in the backseat, noting where she was pointing and turning in that direction. An all too familiar black car was pulling into the parking lot and coming straight for them.

“Daddy!” his daughter chirped, wriggling in her seat with excitement as the car pulled up a couple spaces away from their car.

As Castiel watched his husband park, he took a deep, fortifying breath. They’d done this same exchange every other weekend for the last two months. Ever since their marriage got too hard and they both agreed a separation was necessary. Sam had rented an apartment nearby and they met in the parking lot of a Walmart that was as close to equidistant between their homes as they could get to trade off their seven-year old daughter.

Sam’s schedule kept him busy during the week – which was part of why Castiel had become so unhappy in their marriage; he never _saw_ Sam anymore. They’d agreed that it wasn’t fair for Sam to take Grace _every_ weekend because then Castiel wouldn’t have that time to do things with her. So the result was that she only got to see her daddy for one weekend every other week. Castiel would pick her up from school in the afternoon and take her home to pack a bag of clothing for the weekend then they would all meet in their usual corner at their usual Walmart.

Sam glanced over at the familiar tan car as he put his own in park. He sighed and pushed a hand through his hair. Why was facing his husband so hard now? He remembered when they used to be so in love, could get through anything life threw at them. But this… This one couldn’t be fixed with I’m sorrys and I love yous. Castiel was unhappy, Sam knew that. But he didn’t know how to make it better no matter how badly he wanted his husband back. This time, it was much bigger than the two of them knew what to do with and Sam doubted this separation would end in anything other than a divorce.

With a sigh, he pushed away his worries and heartache, reminding himself that this was his weekend with his baby girl. He wouldn’t let her suffer because he and Castiel couldn’t work things out. Determined to give his daughter a fun weekend, he cut the engine and climbed out of the car.

When Sam got out of his car, Castiel sighed and got out of his own, stepping to the back to help Grace out. As soon as her feet touched pavement, she ran the short distance to her daddy, grinning brightly. Grace’s backpack momentarily forgotten, Castiel watched as Sam knelt down to catch her in his arms, a grin making his dimples appear. The sight of his daughter and (estranged) husband tore at Castiel’s already ragged heart.

_Please come home,_ he mentally pleaded with the man he still loved. _I miss you._

“Hey, Cas,” Sam said, breaking Castiel from his mental anguish, as he crossed to Castiel’s car with his hand on their daughter’s shoulder.

“Sam,” Castiel returned with a nod and when had they lost the ability to talk to one another? Why did the very few words they exchanged always sound forced and unnatural? He leaned into the car and pulled out Grace’s backpack, offering it to Sam. Their fingers brushed as Sam slipped the strap into his own hand and Castiel felt his breath catch.

_I still love you_ , the little voice in his head whispered, afraid to say the words in a normal tone even in his mind. _Please, can’t we repair our marriage?_

Sam pushed a hand through his hair, a gesture Castiel knew meant Sam was anxious. “So, uh, see you Sunday then.”

Castiel nodded as he knelt down to wrap his daughter in his arms. “Be good for your daddy, Gracie, okay?” he said and felt her nod against his shoulder. “I’ll see you Sunday evening.” As he pulled away, he pressed a kiss to her forehead then stood, watching Sam get her settled into the back of his car.

He stayed stood beside his car as he watched Sam back out of his space, waving when Grace waved at him through the window. Only when the car disappeared down the busy street did he get into his car and go back to the empty house that used to hold their family.

~oOoO~

What would you like for dinner, kitten?” Sam asked as he pulled into the space designated for his apartment.

“Not kitten anymore, Daddy,” Grace huffed. “Honeybee.”

“Honeybee?” Sam questioned, glancing at his daughter through the rearview mirror. “Why honeybee?”

“Because Papa taught me about what bees do and I like them,” she explained as if it should be obvious.

Sam could only nod, forcing a small smile and feeling his heart twinge. Most fathers knew this stuff about their daughters. What else did he remember wrong? What else had changed in the two weeks since he’d seen his daughter?

“Can we have macaroni and cheese?” Grace asked, going back to Sam’s earlier question, unaware of the torment warring through Sam’s mind.

“Sure, macaroni and cheese sounds good,” Sam agreed, smiling as he let his daughter out of the car. At least that hadn’t changed; she still had the same favorite food.

The apartment Sam had rented was just a one bedroom. He hadn’t wanted to get two just for Grace to have a room because that felt too permanent. She didn’t _need_ a room at his place because he wasn’t going to be gone long. He and Castiel would work this out and then he’d go home. They would be a family again… right?

When they got inside, Sam watched Grace line her shoes up with his then take her backpack into the bedroom. Smiling affectionately, he made his way into the kitchen to start dinner. He put a pot of water on the stove to boil and was just pulling a box of macaroni and cheese from the cupboard when he heard his daughter.

“That’s not how Papa makes it anymore,” she said, crossing to stand at his side with a pout.

“Papa doesn’t make it from the box?” Sam asked, slowly lowering the box to the counter. His daughter shook her head and he felt his heart break just that much further. “How does Papa do it now?”

Grace shrugged, not knowing the exact steps. She just knew it didn’t all come in a box anymore. “He makes the cheese part himself. Not the powdered stuff.”

Ah, Castiel made it all from scratch. He’d always been a better cook than Sam. “I don’t have the ingredients to make it from scratch like Papa does, honeybee,” Sam said sadly, the new nickname feeling foreign on his tongue. “You’ll have to settle for the boxed stuff tonight.”

Grace shrugged again but her soft smile told Sam that that was okay with her. “That’s okay. I still like it. I can have macaroni and cheese one way with Papa and one with you.” She said it in such a light, upbeat tone. Like having her parents living in two places wasn’t a big deal and that just shattered Sam’s heart. She shouldn’t have to go through this. They should be a family, in one home, _together_.

“Do you-” Sam cleared his throat, feeling a lump forming and his eyes burning with the threat of tears he couldn’t shed with Grace around. “Do you want to watch a movie while we eat?”

Grace nodded, a grin lightening her face and making her blue eyes – eyes Sam couldn’t look at without thinking of Castiel – bright with happiness. “Want me to go pick one, Daddy?”

“Sure, why don’t you go pick one out,” Sam agreed, watching as she scurried into the living room and to the box he kept by the TV that housed the few DVDs Sam had taken with him and ones Grace had brought with her over the course of a few weekends.

The apartment wasn’t bare, exactly. Sam had been able to afford a nicer, furnished apartment. But it felt more like living in a space that belonged to someone else. Most of Sam’s things were back at the house and God only knew what Castiel had done with it all. His husband never brought him any of the clothes he left behind or any of the knick knacks from his office so Sam imagined whatever he’d left behind was still as he’d left it. Which was the way it should be. He _was_ going home again… right?

When dinner was ready, Sam filled two bowls and took them out into the living room. He set them on the coffee table while he set up the movie. Grace wriggled off the sofa to sit between it and the coffee table to eat. He turned the TV over to the DVD player then picked up the movie his daughter had picked. Frozen? He didn’t remember that being in the box. Grace must have brought this one with her. But hadn’t she been all about The Little Mermaid a few weeks ago? Just another thing Sam didn’t know about his own daughter…

The movie played and Sam grudgingly admitted this one was okay. When they finished their dinner, they both left their bowls on the coffee table for later and Grace climbed up to snuggle into his side. With a fond smile, Sam wrapped his arm around her shoulders. A glance at the other end of the couch had his smile faltering. An empty space where Castiel should be glared back at him, taunting him.

_I miss you, Cas_ , he whispered in his head.

~oOoOo~

Saturday morning, when Castiel woke, the house was quiet. He lay in bed, unable to bring himself to get up just yet. During the week and on the weekends when Grace was there, he’d hear the television playing the Saturday morning cartoons she liked to watch. Grace was always a good girl, keeping herself occupied and out of trouble until he woke up. Usually, it wasn’t long after she turned on the television, the low tones of her cartoons in the other room gently pulling him into wakefulness.

Before their marriage began crumbling, Castiel remembered waking in a warm bed, usually embraced in strong arms with a nose pressed into his hair, soft breathing against the nape of his neck. Sometimes, Grace would charge into their room and hop onto the bed to wake them. He and Sam would grumble but as soon as Grace ran from the room, satisfied they were awake, they’d share grins then lazy kisses. They’d get up and the three would make breakfast together. On mornings when Sam was already awake, Castiel would wake to the smell of coffee and the sounds of his husband and daughter already preparing breakfast.

Now, Saturdays when Grace was with Sam were just too quiet. No cartoons, no laughter. No coffee and sizzling bacon.

Suddenly the quiet felt like it was pressing down on him and Castiel shoved the blankets away and scrambled out of bed and stumbled from the room. He hurried into the living room and snatched the remote from the coffee table then jammed his finger down onto the power button and the familiar sounds of Looney Tunes filled the living room. Sighing, Castiel lazily tossed the remote to the couch and left the television on as he went into the kitchen to make coffee.

Coffee made and cup in hand, Castiel found himself leaning in the doorway of his daughter’s bedroom. Her bed was unmade from the morning before and toys were scattered across the carpet. His little girl didn’t seem like a little girl anymore. She never once complained about having to pack a bag every other Friday afternoon. Never complained about only seeing her other parent for one weekend every two weeks.

Castiel thought back to when Grace was a baby. He’d only been eighteen when she was born, fresh out of high school. Sam had been in his second year of college. She hadn’t been planned, likely conceived when Sam had been home on Christmas break several months prior, but he and Sam had loved her the moment they found out Castiel was pregnant. With a daughter, Castiel had thrown himself into community college, doing his best to get some kind of degree, vowing he would do better for her. Sam had gone back to school, leaving Castiel to raise Grace. He came home every break and every summer between school years and for those few months, they felt like a family.

When Sam graduated, Grace was four. They got married the summer after Sam graduated, riding a high that came with seeing each other again after Sam being away for months. With a degree, Sam put off finishing law school to be home with his new husband and four-year old daughter and getting a job to help out even if it wasn’t in law. When Grace turned five and started going to school regularly, Sam had gone back to law school.

Now, he was nearing the end of his second year but juggling school and a job and a home meant Castiel didn’t see Sam enough anymore. They were right back where they had been when Sam had been in college. The only difference was the empty half of the bed where Sam should be each night. He’d stay up late to study then get up early for work before school in the afternoons. He’d be gone before Castiel woke to take Grace to school, the bed having long since gone cold.

After months of this, Castiel had finally had enough and it had escalated into an argument. Castiel couldn’t even remember now what it had been about. He remembered Sam packing a suitcase of clothes and going to his brother’s for a few days. And then somewhere along the way, Sam had rented an apartment. Their marriage was slowly falling apart and Castiel felt the sting of heartache as he remembered their wedding. They’d vowed to stay with each other through whatever life threw at them. Forever.

_Falling for ‘forever’ was a mistake_ , Castiel thought bitterly.

With a sigh, Castiel pushed off the doorframe and took his coffee to the bedroom to dress for the day. As he changed, he ran through his mental list of what needed to be done that day: he needed to go grocery shopping, should clean the house, should probably do yard work. But the thought of doing those things without his daughter just made his chest feel hollow, like a piece of him was missing. Shopping wouldn’t be the same without Grace excitedly asking if she could have this or that and trying to sneak things into the cart without him looking. And when they cleaned, they’d each take a room together and make a game of cleaning it together, finishing the house in no time. And the yard… Grace would race around the backyard while Castiel tended to his garden or sometimes she’d offer to help, being very gentle with his flowers and vegetables.

The thought of doing anything without his daughter just made Castiel want to go back to bed.

~oOoOo~

Saturday afternoon, Sam took Grace to the park near his apartment complex. He watched her run around the equipment, laughing, her dark ponytail fluttering in the breeze. Sam had tried to put it into braids because “Papa braids it, Daddy,” but he just couldn’t get it to stay tight and neat. Finally, they’d both given up and Grace had been okay with a ponytail. But it didn’t feel okay for Sam. He couldn’t give her braids like she wanted, he had used the wrong nickname the evening before, her favorite movie had changed…

Sam felt like he was losing his daughter in some ways. He only saw her for one weekend every two weeks and that wasn’t enough.

“Daddy, push me!” Grace called.

Sam grinned and jogged across the gravel to the swing set. He took hold of the chains of the swing and pulled back then gently pushed forward. Grace squealed as she swung forward and Sam couldn’t help grinning in return. He gave her a few more pushes until she was moving steadily then moved around to watch her from the front. Her eyes were bright with happiness and she was grinning wide enough that the dimples she’d gotten from him popped.

Later that afternoon, they stopped for ice cream, sitting in the back of the small shop together. Sam’s own ice cream sat mostly forgotten in its paper cup as he watched Grace. She had ice cream smeared around her lips, turning them slightly brown from the chocolate. Despite the light mood, he couldn’t help feeling like something was missing.

Not for the first time that weekend (or since the separation, really), Sam found himself thinking that Castiel should be with them. This wasn’t a family. Sam and Castiel were caught between married and divorced because they couldn’t figure out how to solve their problems and Grace was stuck in the middle, being bounced back and forth between them.

“Daddy,” Grace said softly, pulling him from his thoughts. “When are you coming home?”

Sam swallowed around the lump forming in his throat. “I don’t know, Gracie. Papa and me… We just don’t get along right now.”

“Is it because you’re always so busy?” she asked. Her own ice cream was half gone but she seemed less interested in it now.

Sam wasn’t sure how to handle this conversation. He knew it would happen sooner or later. He’d just expected sooner and really should have been thinking about how to explain something like this. He wished Castiel were around to help with something like this. But if Casitel _were_ around, they wouldn’t be having this conversation.

“Yeah,” Sam finally admitted, deciding to do his best to be as honest as he could. “Papa doesn’t like that I’m always busy.”

“Why are you so busy?” Grace pressed.

“Because I have to work to help pay for things and I have to finish school so I can be a laywer,” Sam explained.

“Like the ones on TV?”

Sam couldn’t help smiling at her innocent question. “Yeah, kinda like that.”

“Oh.”

“I know it’s hard, Gracie,” Sam said, reaching over to brush a stray strand of hair from her face. “But even if Papa and I can’t work out our problems and even if I can’t come be with you and Papa right now and even if...” He swallowed again, hating what he was about to say. “Even if Papa and Daddy never live in the same place again and even if we stop loving each other, we always love _you_ , okay?”

Grace nodded and Sam was terrified for a moment that she’d start crying. But then she met his eyes and he could swear he saw the same determination Castiel got sometimes. “Do you still love Papa?” she asked.

“Yes,” Sam said with absolute certainty. “Yes, I still love your papa.”

~oOoOo~

Sunday evening, Sam pulled into the same spot in the same parking lot, seeing Castiel’s car already there. He cut the engine and climbed out, helping Grace out and watching as she ran toward Castiel. His husband knelt and wrapped their daughter in a hug, blue eyes shining with joy.

_Please say I can come home_ , Sam thought, locking his eyes to Castiel’s even though his husband wasn’t looking at him. _Is this our family now, Cas? Fifteen minutes every other Friday and Sunday evenings?_

“Did you have fun with Daddy?” Castiel asked, rising and helping Grace settle into the back of his car.

While the two talked, Sam gathered Grace’s things from his car then stood, watching Castiel, willing himself to say _something_. To just tell Castiel he still loved him and missed him and would do anything to make their marriage work. But he knew that wasn’t a conversation they could have with Grace around. For now, this was how things had to be. It was for the best that they lived separately. It spared Grace from hearing any arguments and seeing her parents unhappy.

“Sam.”

Sam blinked back into focus, seeing Castiel closer than he had been a moment ago. Not as close as partners usually stood. The distance between felt like a chasm and Sam had no idea how to cross it.

“Grace’s backpack?” Castile said, nodding toward the item in Sam’s hand.

“Oh, yeah. Here,” he said, holding it out.

Instead of grasping it by the top loop where Sam held, Castiel took it by one of the straps that went over Grace’s shoulders, leaving no chance for accidental contact. Sam tried to ignore the disappointment of not being able to touch his husband.

Backpack in hand, Castiel turned to stow it in the car while Grace sheepishly inched toward Sam. He knelt down to pull her into his arms, feeling her press her face into his neck and wrap her arms tightly around him.

“Hey,” he whispered, rubbing circles into her back. “Time will fly by and before you know it, we’ll be right back here so you can come see me again.” His heart ached when he heard Grace sniffle.

“I don’t want you to go, Daddy,” she whispered. “Just tell Papa you’re sorry so you can come home, too...”

Sam couldn’t help glancing up at Castiel even though he knew his husband hadn’t heard her. He was watching the two, but when Sam looked at him, he quickly averted his gaze before Sam could identify the emotion in his eyes. Had it been longing? Hurt?

Sighing, Sam squeezed his daughter a bit tighter. “Right now… Daddy and Papa just don’t get along and just saying sorry won’t fix it this time. It’s better if we stay apart.”

This earned another sniffle from Grace before she slowly pulled away, eyes downcast.

“I’ll see you in two weeks, Gracie,” he promised, kissing her cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you, Daddy,” she mumbled before slowly crossing to Castiel’s car and climbing in.

Castiel frowned as he shut the door and glanced at Sam. He hated seeing his daughter upset. He could fix this. All he had to do was say _something_ to Sam. “I’m sorry” or “please come home” or “I still love you.” Anything. But he knew it wouldn’t be that simple and it wouldn’t change the problems that were poisoning their marriage.

So instead, he said, “Goodbye, Sam,” and slipped into the car.

Sam gave a wave though he wasn’t sure who it was for because neither his husband nor his daughter were looking at him, and watched Castiel disappear down the road. He tried to tell himself again that this was the right thing. This was how things had to be for now.

It didn’t make it feel any less like Castiel was driving away with part of his heart.


End file.
